Another Morning in Paradise

Blinking cursor on my computer screen…I hate you. I loath you. You mock me, I know you do.

*blink* *blink* *blink* *BLINK!*

I swear every 3rd blink is a .0002 second longer than the first one.

Yup, I have writer’s block. Actually, it’s an acute form that is only specialized to blog writing. It’s called Stagefreightwritersblock-itis. Serious. I know. It causes an unknown blockage from the brain to fingertips. This completely cripples the Writer, causing loss of thoughts, fear of putting blog entry “out there,” and the occasional brain farts.

Cure: Have 4 kids and “another morning in paradise.”

This morning started like most others. Alarm at 5:45 am, get up out of bed at 6:00…stumble into the closet trying to find my workout shoes; trip over a laundry basket full of clothes that have needed folding for several days (or maybe a week now); quickly down something with caffeine….exercise.

Yup, perfect start to a normal day….

…..After the workout, bring on some crazy!

1. Come home and see boy #1 at the top of the stairs “I love you, mom, but I have boogers.” He leans in for the combo of a hug/wipe nose on mom’s sweater move. Nice….I ignore it and try to coax boy #1 into the living room, quietly, to watch a movie, so I can take a shower.

2. Shower completed without an audience of sleepy children. Whooohooo!! WIN for Mom! This day is going great!

3. Next up, conversation with the hubs. I try explaining to him my “stagefreightwritersblock-itis.” I pull out my best Scarlett O’Hara look and say: “Fiddle, dee dee! Oh woe is me! For I cannot write because I do not have the time to write in. What shall I ever do? How can I possibly put-eth myself out there…all the way out on the world wide web….my heart and my soul. I shall die a blog-martyr’s death: suffocation from the cursor!” *gasp!*

Conversation with the hubs doesn’t go quite as I had scripted it. He replies to my drama: “If you feel like you are called to write and that’s what you need to do, then carve out sometime and write.”

Me (hand thrown up to my forehead, and sigh with great distress. Then said with a slight southern-drawl say): “But the chiiiiiiildren!!!!! How shall I write with the children?”

I’m quickly given a Rhett Butler kind of response: “Just make time.”

4. 7:45am, see boy #2, whining, crying, and more snot than his brother.

Me: “What’s wrong bud?”
boy #2: “I don’t feel well. My tummy hurts.”

My thoughts: “Oh no….you need to go to school. We can totally Advil-this situation, right?”

I take his temp, 100.5. DANG IT! I love having a day with my son, don’t get me wrong, but this is day #4 of him being whiny and snotty. I’m over it, can I get an AMEN?

5. Make sure boy #2 is happy so I can get boy #1 ready for Kindergarten….Get girl #1 and girl #2 going on their school work, eat breakfast, make lunches, burn eggs AND boil over oatmeal in the microwave….text messages, business texts coming in.

I start laughing. It’s a crazy house.

So, I decide to add one more “plate” into the spinning circle balancing act: making buttercream. Nothing says chaos like whipping up a batch (or 8!) of buttercream for my orders this weekend. Powdered sugar goes literally flying around my kitchen. It becomes this fine dust that cakes onto every surface in my kitchen and attached living room. It fit’s in with my decor, I promise.

Then, half-way through the decorating-my-cupboards event, I realize I have to take boy #1 to Kinder. Leave kitchen an absolute mess. I have no worries, that it’ll be waiting for me when I get back home.

6. Leave kids #1-3 at home with Grandma, and quickly run boy #1 over to Kindergarten. Whew. One thing accomplished….so I think …ha ha ha…

7. Get back home to the same mess I left and have 5 minutes of peace while cleaning. I decide to text a friend and share about my “stagefreightwritersblock-itis” problem. Friend’s advice: “Just sit down at the computer and bleed.” Of course, I had like 100 witty things that crossed my mind to text like “oh yeah, I’d have to be cut first. lol” Yeah, not as funny as it sounded in my brain. (makes me glad my brain is only for my viewing…anyways!)

But, while I’m laughing to myself about my blog-writing issues, I get a text from boy #1’s teacher….he had an accident at school, and has no extra clothes.

8. Get back in the car…this time bring along boy #2 and girl #2….along with a fresh change of clothes and girl #2 is now running late for her school. I’m a mom, I’m efficient. My plan: drop clothes off, drop girl #2 off. simple. easy.

Girl #2….as we are running out the door: “Mom, I need Christmas treats for my class today.”
Me: “Your class is right now. And we have to drop off clothes for your brother, what are you talking about?”
Girl #2: “Well, we need something.”

I quickly run and scan the fridge “Your friends wouldn’t mind Mayo would they?” Giggles and laughter is coming from the front door, but not from me. I’m annoyed. Dumb Christmas party. My mood is changing rapidly.

I fumble through the pantry and find 5 packages of fruit snacks and say “this will do.” Mary and Joseph would’ve given toddler Jesus some fruit snacks, right? Gushers could have been a gift from the Wise man? I don’t know. It will do for our house.

9. Pull up to Kindergarten and run clean clothes inside. I walk into my sons classroom and he looks at me in horror. The school told me they had found him some clean underwear to wear, so he’s clean, but he’s in absolute horror.

Boy #1: “Mommy, I need to whisper something in your ear.” I bend down. His teacher mumbles something to about him possibly not feeling well and that he was crying. He’s only been at school 20 minutes and I can clearly see that he is not sick.

He gently pulls my hair back from my ear and leans in to whisper. “Mommy, I really don’t like having to wear Cannon’s underwear.”

Suddenly, it is clear to me. This poor boy had a poop accident in front of his friends (embarrassment #1) and now he’s having to wear his friends extra underwear (embarrassment #2).

wow.

I give him his own underwear and follow him to the bathroom to change. He shares with me that he is so glad to be back in his own underwear. Frankly, I don’t blame him.

Anyways, writer’s block gone for the moment. Crazy morning, hopefully over. The afternoon is beginning and new drama maybe unfolding.

Til then….

Following the path,
Kelly

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