Mute with a Pen

Wednesday night, my voice disappeared. Seriously, I have already sent out for search party! For the past 3 days, I’ve been struggling to raise my voice above a whisper without hacking up a lung in the process.

Yesterday, while I was driving, I started swirling down the toliet of self pity. Enter in my lovely, oh-so-encouraging “inner dialogue.” It was all out war on my thoughts.

I’m never going to ever speak or sing ever again.”

“This just figures. Imma girl that’s gotta say her 10,000 words a day. I’m never going to speak ever again.”

“I’ll never sing again. I should just give up and sell my guitar.”

Pathetic, I know.

But I started feeling really down and frustrated with myself. Everyone gets sick, but not me. No! And if I do get sick, I should never be sick for longer than a day. That’s my rules and I’m stickin’ to it! Pop me another Advil and I’m over it.

This time, it’s been longer than a day, and I’m over it. Trying to get two 5-year-old to stop arguing over who’s turn it is to brush their teeth first, or to pick up their toys…Or just simply telling them to get their shoes on so we can leave for the afternoon. Forget it!!! This mute-momma gets zero respect! I’ve resorted to clapping my hands, or banging on the nearest wall to get their attention. Banging is followed by large hand gestures and an overly emphasized whispered directions.

(Flinging my hands to make my point and using my stern whisper voice): “I told you” *hack hack hack* “Get your—” *cough* “shoes on!” *honk cough cough cough*

This morning, I woke up for church with some what of a voice. Actually, I kind of sound like a Canadian Goose during mating season. *Honk! Honk!* My voice cracks in and out and please forgive me for the constant sucking on cough drops. The aroma of menthol trails behind me wherever I go.

One thing that this mute time has taught me, is that sometimes I just gotta shut-up. I can usually talk circles around my hubs, but not over the past 4 days. He has “won” more disagreements than he has in 11 years of marriage. Why? Because I don’t have the vocal stamina to properly support my case. Thankfully, our disagreements have been small and consisted of whether or not we should buy a small or large bag of Hershey kisses. (He won, and so we have a large bag of chocolate in the house….my hips say thanks!)

The other thing this quiet time has taught me is, I am way more effective with a pen when I’m not trying to talk and write at the same time. Funny, how that works right? Talk about multitasking. (Haha, pun!) My creative juices for writing have gotten a little more focused during this time. My fingers have been moving fast on the keyboard. I’m excited to type, because I just need to communicate, and can’t.

I’ll get better eventually and be back up to my word-allowance, but until then, Ricola Cough Drops have been my savior!

Following the path,

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