Faith doesn’t make sense. It’s indescribable. There is zero logic to it. There is no way to explain what faith does, other than experiencing it for yourself and saying “Yup, God did that 110%. It was not any of my doing.”
In Matthew 17, Jesus just gets done healing a boy and the disciples ask why they didn’t have the power to do it. Jesus tells them that it’s “Because you have so little faith….if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain ‘move from here to there’ and it will move.” (vs. 20)
As small as a mustard seed?
I love how Jesus uses something that was “mainstream” in the culture to make His point crystal clear to His disciples. I wonder how He would’ve described faith if He was on Earth today?….. “If you have faith as small as a pixel on one of those new ultra HD TV…..”
Shawn once told me a story about faith:
A man is hiking with his friend and falls off a cliff. Just in the nick-of-time, the man thankfully grabs onto a branch. His friend, at the top of the cliff can’t reach him but can see the ground below the fallen man’s feet. He yells to his friend, “Just let go of the branch. It will be okay.” The man who is hanging for dear life onto the branch can’t see the ground 2 feet down. He doesn’t believe the man. He just hangs onto the branch for dear life, saying he can’t let go, because the ground is too far, and he’s too scared. If he would let go of the branch, the man would be perfectly safe.
That is faith. Trusting in the unknown, and placing your trust in something or Someone else.
When Shawn and I got married, I was 21 years old, pregnant, finishing up college, jobless….and of course completely broke.
Shawn was 24, just graduated from college, recently laid-off from his very 1st job out of college….and equally as broke.
New baby on the way, newly married, no job, and no money….we were truly “living on love.”
When I think back on that time, I don’t remember having stress about money. It was odd, I really believed that we would be okay, and God would provide for us. I don’t remember laying awake at night worried about tomorrow and about how we would pay for food…let alone a new baby. Maybe I was naive, but looking back, I know that was a test of faith.
Shawn and I got married in May. Thankfully, he had found a part-time job as a cashier at HEB. So he was able to bring in maybe $150 a week. Our 1 bedroom apartment was $675 a month. If you do quick math, we were NO where close to making rent every month.
Ah, but God found a way….our wedding gifts.
I was blown away at the generosity of our family and friends who had given us gifts at our wedding. We received quite a bit of beautiful things…new towels, glasses, plates, kitchen gear (most of which I still have 11 years later)…..but we also received a large amount of monetary gifts.
Those monetary gifts were what kept us afloat those first few months of our marriage….and it was JUST enough.
The thing that blew me away was, it was a gift. It wasn’t something we did. We didn’t give the people anything in return. We simply said “Thank you,” and graciously received the gift.
Our wedding money was quickly running out. Shawn had gone to several interviews but nothing was coming through. I was becoming more and more pregnant and Hannah’s November due date was quickly approaching.
Finally in July, Shawn got offered a sales job at a cell phone company. But he wasn’t offered, money wise, exactly what we needed to support ourselves. He was offered a base hourly, which equaled out to about $1,000 a month and the rest he would have to earn through commission.
Commission…..ah, funny word.
Job world meaning: Make sales and the company will pay you a piece of each sale.
Pregnant wife meaning: Trusting that other people will come buy cell phones from “the husband” so we can have money for rent.
Quick math would tell you that rent of $675 and making (…without paying taxes….) $1,000 a month doesn’t really “make sense.” We had to put, again, an enormous amount of trust in God that our needs would be provided for and Shawn would be able to make in commission (a.k.a. “Trusting the others will buy”) to pay rent and buy food.
As I look back 11 year ago, it is a flood of happy and joyous memories. Sure, nothing was perfect, but it was a time, fresh into our marriage, that we as a couple began walking, together as a team, this life of faith. We always had just enough to pay rent, our bills, and buy some food. We didn’t have a savings account….there were no “store houses” for us….we lived month-to-month and somehow we just scraped by EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH.
How can I explain it? I can’t. It doesn’t make sense. God provided for our little, newly began family. No credit of my own or through Shawn’s hard work (although, he did work REALLY hard!)….God gave us just enough and provided what we needed to survive another month….that was FAITH.
Following the path,
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