This was a question I got hung up on last year.
I got married my last year of college and went from living in my parents’ house, to a dorm, then to my husband’s apartment. We started a family shortly after we got married. There was no time of “self-awakening” as a person. No time to really discover who I was as an individual. I don’t regret any of this time, but what I do wish is that I didn’t spend so much time wrapping myself and my identity around what I was doing at the time:
I’m in college, therefore my identity was “student” and I would do “student” things.
I’m newly married, therefore my identity was “Shawn’s wife” and I would do things I thought a good wife should do….make dinner every night, clean our apartment, or do laundry.
I’m a Mom, therefore my identity was “Mommy” and I would spend my day changing diapers, hanging out with other moms, wiping up spills, and kissing ‘boo-boos.’
All of the above “identities” were me, but they defined a role I was in, not defined who I was as a person.
When my kids grow up, I won’t necessarily have the same “Mommy” role…..I graduated from college, so I’m not a “student” anymore, but I don’t have a “career” so who am I academically?…. Do I even have “value” because I don’t bring in money as a stay-at-home Mom?
I wrestled quite a long time with the “who am I?” question, and it’s still an area of struggle today.
My identity has little to do with what I do and everything to do with who I am. Who am I? I am a child of God. The roles He has me filling….student, Mom, wife, worship leader, writer…they are not me as a person, they areas that He has called me to serve, at this moment.
God has gifted me as a musician, writer, expert ‘boo-boo’ kisser, encourager to my husband, but I need to pursue the Giver and not the gifts. (Psalm 63:1)
Accept who you are in Christ first. Pursue Him as your Father and Creator. We each have talents and roles within the community and church. Do what God has created you to do, but don’t BECOME the role or lose your identity in Him. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
Positions, jobs, and roles change, but who we are in Christ is forever and unchanging. We discover our true identities as we draw close to Him. (Genesis 1:27, Jeremiah 1:5, John 1:12)
Following the path,
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